http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDpEyuWVVQ4

This is from and article written by a columnist who is friendly with a shelter worker and wrote it tongue in cheek to people who think there is profit made in rescue and object to our fees. THE HIDDEN TRUTH ABOUT THE ‘RESCUE CULT” Columnist’s Larry Powell’s website: “Yessir, I’m going to yank the veil back on the hidden truth about the ‘rescue cult.’ Here goes: There is a secret society of animal rescuers who pool their immense profits made from cornering the market on mangy dogs and wormy cats, poorly-groomed purebreds with congenital in-breeding problems and un-socialized dogs who have been kept in filthy conditions in the house of a backwoods hoarder. Those critters are pure profit! These rescue cultists take those truckloads of cash and buy bricks of gold each day to hedge against hard times in the market and to make trips to Vegas a little more fun.
Rescuers vacation for three months each summer in Switzerland and spend their Christmases with their extended families in a fantastic villa at the North Pole. And they all dress like movie stars at the Oscars — yes, they all go to the Oscars. Most of the time they all ride in their chauffeur-driven Bentleys or they drive a Ferrari so they can get to adoption events in a hurry. When they talk about boarding animals, they mean staying with them for a couple of weeks or months in some swank Dallas hotel or maybe, if they’re hip enough, Hotel Zaza.

Yeah, the people in rescue lead a dream life. I don’t understand why more people don’t get involved with animal rescue and start dipping up their share of the gigantic profits.

Back to reality. You know, folks, there are people who will believe all that. Oh, for crying out loud. A rescue group is like George Bailey’s Building and Loan in It’s a Wonderful Life – the money isn’t always kept in the vault, it’s invested in assorted properties to benefit the whole community. I might give a $350adoption fee for a Pom whose care and upkeep was minimal and it cost about $30 to get the rascal ship-shape. But someone else may donate $350 for a Pom who cost about $4,000 to repair after a lifetime of bad living at the hands of some idiot human.

I asked Cheri about Recycled’s state this week: ‘We have 20 dogs currently available for adoption and two un-adoptable dogs (one has a brain tumor and the other is a fear-biter). We just recently had one come to us anemic with a broken leg, broken tail and open sores all over her body. We even had to remove some tar like substance from her ears… not to mention the million fleas.’ At the group’s link HERE you can see other dogs such as Gizmo, who can’t tolerate kids, and Bubbles, who is a boy dog. On a personal note, Cheri says, ‘I currently have 12 foster dogs in my care alone. I don’t live on a ranch and they don’t get put in kennels. At least 6 of them sleep in my bed each night. We really could use some foster mommies or daddies, too. We have four dogs in boarding because we don’t have foster homes for them to go to.’ (FYI: Boarding isn’t free — there’s where some of that $250 fee goes.)

You know the recent move to smaller cars and more efficient fuel-burning engines? Animal rescuers did that years ago. They needed to save money on gasoline so they could feed their rescue habit and efficiently drive rescued dogs from one city to another, from one state to another. Earlier this year, a rescue group took a heeler mix from Dallas to Minnesota and got snowed in near the final destination. That cost money nobody expected to spend. That money often comes right out of a rescuer’s pocket and isn’t replaced — except that their hearts feel better about saving an animal.

I’ve been to many, many rescue events. I have yet to see a rescuer show up in designer fashions and shoes that you couldn’t wear to wade into a storm sewer to find a mewing kitten or a whimpering puppy. Not that rescuers don’t clean up good, it’s just that they look at a $300 suit or $500 dress and think, ‘That would buy a lot of dog food’ or ‘That would pay for a lot of spaying and neutering.’

These people make sacrifices to help animals. When some foul-minded human tries to get rich via an animal rescue group, they usually wind up spending their money on criminal defense attorneys. Rescue groups sometimes set what looks like a high fee because it theoretically makes the person who pays it feel more responsible about the dog or cat. That motivation might just work with some people — but other people fall in love with the animals and they become part of the family no matter what they cost.

Free dogs and free cats often wind up in shelters. But, so do the expensive critters. No animal is safe when the human factor is out of control. Oh, yeah, when these dogs and cats come into a rescue group, they don’t arrive with a folder containing their medical records. So every dog or cat has to go through a vet exam and gets shots and usually gets a treatment for some minor problem. There’ll be heartworm testing and if the result is ‘positive,’ there’s the added expense of heartworm treatment — at the least a few hundred bucks if there’s a charitable vet involved. And lots of vets work with rescue groups to try to keep the expenses down. Still, if you get 5 fresh dogs one week and four of them are heartworm positive, that’s still a bundle.

OK, that’s just scraping the surface of rescue expenses — we’re not even touching on boarding or special medical situations such as broken bones or open wounds, horrifying physical problems caused by lack of grooming, etc. Oh, geez, don’t get me started on the problems with cocker spaniels’ ears and eyes. Or retired racing Greyhounds with their broken hocks and wrecked tendons. Or cats that arrive looking pregnant and actually are — delivering five or six kittens that need immediate treatment for upper respiratory problems. Or … well, it’s just flat sad what happens to animals in the custody of idiot people.

So, to you shallow thinkers who believe rescue groups are in it to make money, let’s just ask this: For crying out loud, are you nuts? Are you blind to reality? You think caviar is the official snack of Straydog Inc., the sanctuary for down-on-their- luck dogs at Gun Barrel City? The assorted rescuers of Goldens, Labs, Great Danes, Siamese, Tabbies, Rabbits, Hamsters, etc. are people who’ll sacrifice nearly everything to achieve the mission of saving the animals. Then, after a good adoption day, they’ll splurge for a cup of coffee or a Slurpee, talk about how they’re worn out from juggling their job and their mission, and try to drive home without picking up another stray that crosses their paths. Yeah, they’re all getting rich — just not with spending money.” Camp LotsaDogs

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to the question “Where do pets come from?”

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.”

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.” And God said, “I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.”

And God said I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t care one way or the other.

What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They’re totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They’re moody. They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?
Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the next room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.

Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t drink or smoke, don’t worry about buying the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

Dear Dog and Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years… canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats’ butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door…..

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?”

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But man said: “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy life. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

• If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
• If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
• If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
• If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
• If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
• If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
• If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
• If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
• If you can conquer tension without medical help,
• If you can relax without liquor,
• If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
• If you can do all these things,
• Then you are probably the family dog.

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around with it’s head out the window? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle!’?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

• I will not eat the cat’s food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
• I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
• I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
• The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
• The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.
• I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
• Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
• I will not throw up in the car.
• I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
• I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
• The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?

• To Err is Human, to forgive….canine!
• If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try ordering someone else’s dog around.
  - Cowboy Wisdom
  
• Lord, make me the person my dog thinks I am
  - Anonymous
  
• The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
  - Anonymous
  
• Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
  - Ann Landers
  
• There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
  - Ben Williams
  
• A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than they love themselves.
  - Josh Billings
  
• The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
  - Andy Rooney
  
• We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.
  - M. Acklam
  
• Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.
  - Franklin P. Jones
  
• If your dog is fat, YOU aren’t getting enough exercise.
  - Unknown
  
• My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
  - Joe Weinstein
  
• Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul – chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
  - Anne Tyler
  
• You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
  - Dave Barry
  
• Dogs are not our whole life, but they do make our lives whole.
  - Roger Caras
  
• If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
  - Phil Pastoret
  
• My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
  - Unknown

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”

“This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.”

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

“Excuse me!” he called to the man. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.”

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

“What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.

“This is Heaven,” he answered.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”

“No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”

• Leash: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
• Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
• Drool: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human.
• Sniff: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.
• Garbage Can: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
• Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
• Deafness: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
• Thunder: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
• Wastebasket: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.
• Bath: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
• Lean: Every good dog’s response to the command “sit!”, especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
• Bump: The best way to get your human’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
• Goose Bump: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular Bump doesn’t get the attention your require … especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
• Children: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.
• Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.