 |
Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all! |
 |
Yelling at me for barking.. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG YOU IDIOT! |
 |
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? |
 |
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it! |
 |
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home. |
 |
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. |
 |
Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! |
 |
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet. |
 |
Dog sweaters. Hello?? Haven’t you noticed the fur? |
 |
How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous. |
